Honesty doesn’t always pay in negotiations
image: Pixabay/Missavana
When negotiating a salary or a purchase, negotiators often make strategic use of emotions. Social psychologist Zi Ye demonstrates how one negotiator might fake happiness, exaggerate disappointment, or conceal anger — and how the other side may either appreciate or disapprove of such emotional tactics. Ye earned his PhD on 20 May.
If a negotiator realises that the other party is attempting to deceive them by exaggerating or concealing emotions, this doesn’t always lead to disapproval. Zi Ye was able to show this in a series of experiments. ‘If you act angry about a car offer that’s actually quite reasonable, the seller will likely see this as manipulative behaviour,’ says Ye. ‘But if you’re negotiating your salary with your boss and pretend to be happy with an outcome you’re actually unhappy about, your boss is likely to interpret that as a positive willingness to compromise for the sake of maintaining a good relationship.’
Guilt and shame
Ye completed his PhD last May with several studies on how negotiators evaluate and use emotions. Happiness and anger, but also guilt and shame. ‘If you strike such a good deal that it starts to feel unfair, you might experience guilt or shame. I studied how negotiators strategically handle such emotions and how that affects their counterpart.’
There has already been extensive research into emotions in negotiations, often using standardised bargaining games. In these games, two players divide a sum of money between them, for example. One makes an offer; if the other accepts, the money is divided accordingly. If they don’t agree, both walk away with nothing.
A new method to measure the gap between felt and displayed emotions
Ye used these kinds of experiments but also developed one of his own. ‘I wanted to measure the difference between what negotiators actually feel and what they choose to show. In my experiment, a participant negotiated with a pre-programed ‘opponent’. Both sides had to take a number of chips from the other party.’ Depending on the number taken, the participant experienced different emotions. For example, if the participant took fifty chips and the opponent only twenty, the participant might feel guilty or ashamed, rather than disappointed or sad. ‘I studied how negotiators strategically manage and express these emotions to influence their counterparts.’
Ye explains: ‘Participants were asked to report which emotions they felt and to what extent. Initially, this was done with the assurance of confidentiality. Later, they were told that the opponent would be able to adjust the number of chips afterwards, and that they could display emotions such as disappointment, sadness, guilt, and shame to the opponent before the adjustment.’ By comparing the confidentially reported emotions with those shown to the opponent, Ye was able to measure ‘emotional deception’. ‘I also asked participants to explain why they downplayed or exaggerated their emotions, and what outcomes they expected – so I could further explore their motives and intentions.’ Ye found that people intentionally exaggerate their expressions of disappointment and sadness during negotiations to secure the best possible deal, but do not deceive when it comes to feelings of shame and guilt.
White lies may be preferable to harsh truths
According to Ye, hiding or exaggerating emotions can also be opportunistic in other situations than negotiations. ‘During the lead-up to my research, I also looked at emotional deception in response to someone else’s good or bad fortune. If you slightly amplify your happiness for someone’s success, or your sympathy for someone’s misfortune, they’re often appreciative of that – even if it involves some degree of deception.’ Envy and schadenfreude, on the other hand, are best concealed. ‘As my negotiation experiments also showed, people tend to prefer these kinds of ‘pro-social white lies’ to unpleasant truths. Whether inside or outside negotiations, it’s often better to tailor your emotional expression to fit the social norm of ‘friendliness’ rather than strictly adhering to the norm of ‘truthfulness.’
Zi Ye earned his doctorate on 20 May with the dissertation Emotion Deception in Negotiations and Bargaining.