Beyond Iced coffee and face masks: ‘True self-care is about emotional awareness and living according to your values’
Self-care image: Hannah Jacobs
During their clinical internships, Psychology Masters students learn to offer mental support to others. But how can these future therapists take care of themselves? Through video modules, podcasts and a panel, Kelly Ziemer wants to equip her students with essential self-care skills.
It’s quite something: doing your first Psychology internship. A lot of our students are in their early twenties, have never had—what they call—a ‘real’ job, and only know therapeutic conversations from textbooks, videos, or roleplays. Then suddenly, they're sitting across from people who are deeply distressed, struggling with depression, severe anxiety, or traumatic experiences. ‘These students face a lot,’ says Kelly Ziemer, who, besides being a university lecturer, also works as a psychotherapist in Amsterdam. ‘It’s truly different from, say, a marketing internship where you create advertising brochures, or selling clothes in a shop. As a young psychologist, you're doing emotional labour while simultaneously being confronted with your own personal development.’
‘‘As a young psychologist, you perform emotional labour while also undergoing personal development’
Self-awareness skills
That process requires self-awareness and close supervision. Yet, as Ziemer sees both in the literature and in her own experience as an internship supervisor, deeper self-awareness often comes as a reactive response to difficulties at the internship rather than a proactive one. ‘Students often aren’t given the prevention skills to cope with their own discomfort or fatigue. In my first internship, after an intense day full of conversations about sexual abuse and domestic violence, in the beginning, I would come home so drained that all I wanted to do is sleep or numb myself by binge-watching TV.’
Iced lattes
She wants to encourage her students to strengthen their self-awareness and take better care of themselves while simultaneously creating a larger conversation about how our teams, organizations and systems must also support care. ‘I talk to them about this: what are the signs that you're not doing well? How can you tell when you are doing well? What skills do you need to flourish in your work? So that you can show up with your love tank full rather than feeling depleted.’ To spark these conversations, she developed an educational video series last year with the help of a Grassroots grant. This academic year, she received a Grass Shoots grant to create a podcast series and expert panel on self-care to broaden the conversation about self-care. An aim is to think together with others about what prevents us from taking self-care steps and how can we be more supported in this pursuit.
Iced latte's
The term ‘self-care’ and ‘self-love’ are often misunderstood, says Ziemer, who previously conducted research at the University of California-Berkeley and with the support of the University of Amsterdam into how people talk about the term on social media. Google ‘self-care’ and you're inundated with pastel-coloured face masks, expensive scented candles, and iced lattes. ‘The term has certainly been hijacked and commodified by the beauty industry and corporations,’ Ziemer says. ‘But these are essentially not examples of self-care, but rather self-soothing activities: you want to be comforted by curling up in front of the TV in warm socks.’
‘The term “self-care” has been commodified by the beauty industry’
Meaning and purpose
There’s nothing wrong with that, she adds, but true self-care is also about living in alignment with your values and experiencing meaning and growth in life. Activist communities have been advocating for the importance of self-care for decades to fight injustice, and the World Health Organization’s basic definition of self-care is to feel empowered to manage one’s own well-being. ‘To do that, you first need to find self-awareness: what truly matters to me? Then you can base your decisions on that. If you value connection or curiosity, for instance, you might seek collaboration at work with colleagues who share that curiosity. Or if you highly value freedom, you might choose a job that allows you the flexibility to work from home or not at a fixed location.’
3x self-care advice from Kelly Ziemer
- ‘Notice that you're having a hard time? Pause and reflect: am I hungry? Then go eat. Am I angry? That might be a sign you need to stand up for yourself. Feeling lonely? Seek connection, with yourself or someone else. Or are you tired? Then you need rest. This HALT method, from alcohol and drug recovery, is a great tool to practise self-awareness and understand your needs.’
- ‘Take short minute breaks throughout the day to connect with your body. Place your hand on your heart or stomach, focus on the here and now, and realise: there is only ‘now’. You are safe in this moment and soothing yourself. That way, you can approach any situation with more intention and capacity about how you want to proceed.’
- ‘Set aside time to think about what you value. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasizes the importance of understanding our own values. When we live from our values, we align our behaviors and make choices from them, which help us live a more meaningful life. There are a variety of worksheets online which can help you explore your values. Find an example here.’
Broaden the conversation
In a pilot done last year, her students were positive about the self-care module; nearly all of them said they’re more conscious of the topic and know how they want to apply it in their own lives. Ziemer adds further depth with the podcast series and expert panel, where aspiring psychologists will talk with a diverse group of professionals from therapeutic practice. ‘I especially want to focus on the phenomenon of burnout in care professions. A certain personality type seems to be drawn to this work—people who pour their love and care into others but tend to (seek) help themselves less. What creates the conditions that prevent health professionals from not speaking up if they’re having a hard time? How can we center well-being?’
‘‘Why do so many people in care professions only sound the alarm when they’re completely burnt out?’
Organisational culture
Ziemer has a theory. ‘In various cultures, we put a strong emphasis on the individual. I saw that in the US, where I was born and did part of my studies, but I notice it here in the Netherlands too. We receive implicit and at times explicit messages about advocating for ourselves, to independently improve and optimize our skills. If that doesn’t work, or we’re struggling with mental health issues, the message that can be received is that the full responsibility, which at times can feel like blame, lies within each of us.’ We need to broaden the conversation, through storytelling, to include the systems and our organisational cultures. It’s nice to see that this initiative is supported within our faculty.’
Share your Educatips?
Are you a lecturer at the Institute of Psychology and would you like to share your teaching methods? Or would you like to nominate an inspiring colleague for the next section? Please send an email to news.psy@fsw.leidenuniv.nl with the subject line ‘Educatips’
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